I CAN MOONWALK!
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
