Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's never too late to be topless.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
