it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
