idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
