We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
