they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
