So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
