my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
