we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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