So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
