with your own penis?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
