I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
