remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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