seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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