she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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