I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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