I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
