She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
