I'm going to jail i love you
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
