Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
