If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
