why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
