are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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