Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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