So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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