My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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