I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
