Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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