Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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