I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize