I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
