Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
