3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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