he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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