I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
