I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
