dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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