I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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