i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
