never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
