Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize