So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
