i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize