Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
