Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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