Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
