He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
