Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
