They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
