ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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