i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
