She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
