Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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