guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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