i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Im part way to drunk.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
