awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have tasted many bathrooms
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
